Disclaimer: We all have friends who say stupid shit when they are drunk. And the best ones are drunken text messages that do not make sense at all. Below are some the ones I have heard, and read. Enjoy!
1.No officer theres no blood in my alcohol system.
2. Am not drunk.
3. The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
4. Im not drunk…i just have a problem standing still
5. I do not get drunk… I get awesome
6. Avoid hang over: keep drinking
7. Im not that drunk, i can handle this….thud! —- ouch—- maube not..
8. You call me DRUNK … like it’s a bad thing.
9. Officer… I’m not sunk….I’m dober!
10. Day after drinking too much* I’m never drinking again….*Weekend comes* Who wants some shots?
11. No one understands me but you…5 minutes later.YOU DON’T KNOW ME
12. The more I drink, the better you look