By Ginni Jones
Hickeys are not cute. In high school, they were funny and made for good lunch-table stories. But now, we are supposed to have our lives together. Every other status is about an engagement or a wedding. The real world is T-minus 4 years away, at the most. We’ll be getting jobs and wearing real clothes and waking up at the same time every morning. If we want to get frisky, we have to keep it concealed. Lady in the street…you know what I’m sayin’.
But how can we do that when we’ve had one too many LIT’s and can’t really tell when the lips on our neck have made the transition from gentle kissing to sucking with the force of an F-5 tornado? Well, sometimes we can’t. For those embarrassing nights that leave traces for days to come, there are a few things that we can do to
- Take an anti-inflammatory. Hickeys swell. The anti-inflammatory helps to stop it. Hence the name…anti-inflammatory.
- Wet a spoon and keep it in your freezer. Sounds stupid, I know. But trust me. When you discover that horrifying purple/blue mark, grab the spoon and plop that convex side on it. Use lots of pressure. If you haven’t prepared your handy-dandy-spoon, just use a piece of ice. Hold it up there until you can’t stand it anymore. Then go to step three.
- Brush your neck with a soft-bristled toothbrush. The blood has risen to the surface of your skin, so brushing with the soft-bristled toothbrush helps to push it down and re-circulate it. I prefer to brush in circular motion, but I haven’t exactly done my research as to which motion is most effective.
- Back to the spoon! Or, if you used your spoon for step 2, just grab a piece of ice. Lots of pressure. Lots of cold. Rinse and repeat.
- Sheer Cover Concealer It is actually a miracle worker. It is matte-like and creamy, so it blends in perfectly over any color blemish or mark. Don’t forget to press powder on top of it so that it isn’t obvious that you’ve got a blob of concealer over your hickey. That kind of defeats the purpose.
When you’re not planning on going out, brush and ice the affected area as often as possible. The more you work, the quicker it will disappear. Working at it will make the area red, but it will fade way more quickly than the hickey. Plus, if we’re looking at the difference between having a red spot and an advertisement telling the world that you got lucky the night before…well, I guess you can take your pick. Personally, I’ll take the red neck.
Thank you for reading
Xoxo Ginni Jones and Oby Grace